K's mom has no idea what she's doing. She's pushing her entire family away. Her husband, who was once so afraid of divorce, now would rather she was gone. Her daughter hates her, and her son only loves her from obligation. And she's brought it all on herself. What parent, what person, can do that without realizing what it's doing to the people around you, the people you love?

And now it's spread to me because I'm "the other woman," because I'm not the perfect girl she always pictured K with, because we're not BFFs. The thing is, she spent so much time trying to get me to like her that she never spent any time getting to know me. I'm not the most open person; when I'm not onstage, I don't like being in the spotlight; I'm not outgoing; I can't start conversations with people I don't know very well; I'm a little awkward.

But what should matter to her is that he loves me. And I love him. Apparently that's not enough for her. I have to be outgoing and intelligent and talented and musical. I have to be everything she wishes she was. I just wish she could step back and look at what this is doing to her family, to her relationships.

If K and I do get married, if we do have children, I'm not letting that woman anywhere near them. Despite the fact that she deserves none of my respect, I give it to her, and she repays me by telling E I'm not good enough, by being offended by my "indifference," by wishing K was dating K. I've seen how she's tearing her family apart, and I'm not letting her break mine.

Haha, please excuse last night's post. I was feeling a Gossip Girl vibe. That show is such a guilty pleasure for me. I would hate to have anything like what happens on the show happen in my life, but man is it fun to watch.

I've basically been living high school gossip through my boyfriend this year. It's so fascinating to watch people go through their lives. I've never been one of those crazy risk-takers, but I really enjoy learning about those who are. I live vicariously through people so I don't have to deal with teenage pregnancy, etc.

I go to Italy in a little over a week. I'm starting to get pumped. It's going to be glorious. I wish I could find my white keds, though. I'm just so excited. I've wanted to go to Italy since I was in sixth grade. It's just going to be the best thing I could possibly imagine.

Oh damn, I have an appointment in 45 minutes. Must run!

This just in. B got B preggers after homecoming, but she miscarried. C broke up with L last week and she still follows him around like a puppy. Oh, high school gossip.

Just some background:

I'm 18, I go to college at a very small liberal arts school in Sarasota, Florida. I'm majoring in Humanities, with a current plan to become a music producer.

I love music; I went to a local show the other night, and I'm now in love with a semi-local band called Faster Faster. You can check them out here. They are awesome, and I love watching them perform.

Other than that, I got nothing right now. I am sitting at my dad's house in BFE watching Friends. Chandler's definitely my fave. He's fantastic.

I'm working at my dad's store this summer, so expect updates then. Also, I'm going to Italy next week. Hopefully I will have my laptop, and I can keep updating. If not, I'll make sure I record exciting stuff and come back with lots of pictures.