You Grow Old Beautifully

Yeah, I fail at updating.

In the past three weeks I have: celebrated my birthday, been broken up with, had my last day of work, said goodbye to friends, and cried more than I have in a long time.

I don't want to go back to school. I don't want to see him or have to deal with him. In my heart of hearts, I still want him to say, "I'm a gigantic idiot" and come back to me. I know that will probably not happen, and I'm not sure if that's going to be the best thing for me, but it's still hard.

Today is my cleaning/packing day. I don't want to. I don't want summer to be over, because so many things will be over with it. I'm sick of growing up and having to rely on myself.

I feel like nothing in my life is stable right now, and it scares the shit out of me. I need that one thing, and I don't have it anymore.

I'm just trying to keep distracted and not think about going back to school or anything else.

Things are not going well for me right now.